scott’s spot

I’m in Target today, walking in with Olivia, Nay carrying Maggie behind me. We’re getting two carts, one for stuff, one for kids. In walks a mother with a cell phone crooked in her shoulder, trying to talk on the phone, holding a little boy, maybe two and a half or three, and he crying.

So what? Kids cry all the time. You get used to it kick as a parent.

Or so I would have thought, at least from my own experience.

But then I hear the mother say in a biting way to the boy as she’s trying to get him into a cart “You know I hate it when you cry.”

What?? Did I hear her right. I finish getting my own cart. Get Maggie up into the seat, and lean over to Nay.

“Did you hear that? Did she say what I think she said?”

Nay nods.

Made my blood boil.

Now, I know I’m not the most patient father. I struggle with patience and my moods. I’m a fairly moody bastard sometimes and when I’m up I’m Father of the Year, and when I’m down, I have to keep myself from snapping at the girls over every little thing. Saturday I was in a shit mood. I woke up with the girls and didn’t wake up very well, and despite trying to pull out of it, I never turned it around. I was short and snapping, at the girls, at Nay, at every little thing that I dropped (I’m clumsy when I’m grumpy), at the dishes, the toys in the living room—like everything. Sunday was better. I woke up early, real early, and had some time to myself before everyone got up. That seems to be the key. Get up before everyone else and have enough time to sip a mug of tea without worrying whether the girls are killing each other.

But to say something like that. It’s just hurtful. It made me think of Saturday, and how short my fuse was. I ran through the day to see if I could come up with anything that sounded as shitty as that. I came up with nothing, which is pretty good. I struggle with wording a lot of the time. I have to learn how to speak to the girls without wrecking them or their self-esteem. Things like saying “what happened” when the girls are playing rough and Maggie’s bursts into tears, rather than saying “what did you do”? It’s tough and a lot of work and I don’t always succeed. But I’m so conscious of their sense of self, that I could never imagine saying something like “I hate it when you cry.”

This is why they say parents should have to be licensed to have kids.

Maggie went back for her second round of antibiotic shots today. That kid is such a trooper. When she got home (which is when I first saw her this afternoon), despite the fact that she had been stuck in both legs by needles, she was running and bouncing and jumping around.

The doctor told Nay that she had been watching the blood sample every half hour to see if anything had started to grow. Nothing. We don’t get the official clean bill of health until tomorrow, but the doctor told Nay that if nothing has shown up by now, the chances are infinitesimal that they would.

Whew!

At about 4:30 yesterday afternoon, Nay calls me to say she and the girl’s are headed to the doctor’s office to check out Maggie’s hands. When I met them at midday for a visit with Animal Adventures, I noticed Maggie had these weird pinprick-tiny spots on her hands and wrists. Nay had noticed it as well and was keeping an eye on it. Later, after naps, she called the doctor who told her to bring Maggie in.

Normally a trip to the doctor’s office is a non-issue. Olivia had one last week when she started to get sick, only to discover she had a case of strep throat. So, okay, no problem.

But, in this case, the doctor’s weren’t immediate sure what it was, so bloodwork was required.

Ug.

Initially they wanted to rule out things like petechia. Then it was for white blood cell counts. So, out came the pinprick and the squeeze tube for Maggie’s tiny little finger. Which she did great with, considering. Then we waited.

The doctor having looked at this “rash” said that the most likely cause was trauma to the hands. Not horrible horrible trauma, but a mild one. I know exactly where that came from. The night before, after getting into her PJs, Maggie came running up to me to “walk up my legs”. She grabbed my hands and I hers, but her feet were moving a little too fast for the rest of her. They both gave out from under her and she went down, literally flat on her back…and head. But I still had her hands. So the motion of falling down so fast and me still holding her hands was the most probable cause of this spotty…thing on her hands.

But…

The white blood cell count came back slightly elevated. Which means that Maggie is probably fighting off an infection of some type. Could be bacterial, could be viral. Could just be fighting off the strep her sister had. But it needs to be tested. And because the spots appear under the skin, the are to be tested for infection is…the blood stream.

Double ug.

Which means drawing out blood and sending it to a lab to be tested and waiting. Oh yeah, and in the meantime, giving Maggie direct antibiotic shots, two at a time (one in each leg) over the course of at least two days.

So Maggie got her shots yesterday, and did great. I wasn’t actually present, as I had to take Olivia home and get her some dinner (we stopped and had a little MacDonald’s date on the way home) and getting her into bed. Because, by the time the doctor saw Maggie, drew the blood from the finger, analyzed it, decided to draw more blood (this time with a butterfly needle), give her the antibiotic shots, and wait to make sure she didn’t have a reaction to the shots—well, Maggie and Mommy didn’t get home until nearly 8PM.

And then there was watching Maggie throughout the night to make sure she didn’t get a fever or that the “rash” didn’t start to spread. Because that would indicate an infection in the blood stream, which is bad and which would land us in the ER.

Maggie is doing beautifully this morning, no fever, no spreading of the “rash”, up and bouncy at the early hour of 5:50AM. So she seems to be good (though she still goes back for a second set of shots this afternoon). But all things being equal, I can think of better ways to end the day.

So, clearly I’ve been off my blog for a couple of weeks. There is a reason for that.  I’ve started a new job, leaving Casual Male behind and picking up at Dover Saddlery, an equestrian retailer.  The transition has been a bit of a challenge, only insomuch as the shift in corporate culture from one that’s pretty standard to one that’s as laid back as it gets. I’m not used to be this laid back. Most people here where jeans everyday. I haven’t done that since working for Borders in the stores.

Then there is the systems to get used to, which is largely why I’m there. I’ve been hired in part to help manage the planning and allocation for the retail stores (there are ten of them currently), but also to help change how we manage the retail stores. Part of that, a very large part of that, is going to be revamping, rebuilding, or building from scratch new systems. So I’ve spent two weeks up to my arms in disparate data and VBA code.

Plus, getting to know a brand new set of people is always tough, especially for myself, a rather introverted person. I don’t make friends very easily, and in my travels throughout my working career, I’d can count on one hand the number of very good friends I’ve made. Most of them worked for Borders, mainly because the kind of people Borders attracted (at least ten years ago) were the kind of oddballs I get along with.

But I’m starting get into a more normal routine, so I should be writing and updating this blog more often.

Stay tuned…

Now I’m getting all modern and shit.

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